PANIC!

I had a panic attack on Sunday, my first in eleven years.

It was the first one that hit me while I was awake and active – the rest had hit me within seconds of waking – and while mild, lasting for 5 minutes each time, it scared the Bejesus out of me. Now is the time to ditch them energy drinks I enjoy.

Sunday morning. I’d had a four hour sleep before I drove Misa-chan to work. While waiting for her to complete her shift, I had a can of Lucozade cherry energy drink (I think it was from UK). A half hour after that I had a can of the Irn Bru energy drink (I know that’s from Scotland!). Two cans of maximum caffeine within a half hour is nothing new to me; I was now becoming more awake, and then that familiar feeling came on. It took a bit to realise what was happening but I kinda knew it was a panic attack starting. I got out of the room quickly.

I went for a walk and started talking to others before the feeling of normality quickly returned. Whew. What was that all about? I watched a bit more of Wheeler Dealers and that feeling came back! I raced outside and waited for Misa-chan to finish. A little later at Wooloworths it came back a third time, but not so strong.

Back home, I was tired, so sleepy. But every other panic attack I’ve had was when I’ve just woken. I really shouldn’t sleep. But I eventually went for a nap and thankfully woke up feeling fine.

My panic attacks have a strange feeling that’s hard to describe. I’m calling them panic attacks as that’s what my GP told me back in 2012 when I suffered through fours days of this feeling in my head, and the CT scans and blood tests I had came back fine. But on Sunday my head felt weird. I felt confused, yet in control. I stumbled on words, talking like I was out of breath after running a 1500m sprint. Everything felt like it was going fast forward. My heart felt like it was racing but after that much caffeine in such a short time my heart was beating at a leisurely 75bpm.

I’ve previously described them to others as the feeling of a brain freeze without the pain. Sounds weird, right? Like, maybe it’s not a panic attack, but something more, mentally? I really don’t know. I’m due to see my GP again soon anyway, I might have a chat to him about it at the same time.

So I’m swearing off the Monster and Red Bull. I had a Monster at work the next day (after a decent sleep) and felt a tiny bit weird, and tonight, after a 3 day break, a little bit weird again. I don’t like that.

On a side note, the cover pic was generated by DALL-E. I asked it to generate a colourful kawaii hell. Neat!