Okay, okay, the title of this post is a bit wrong, now that I think about it. It was inspired by that Bruce Willis movie sequel from 30-odd years ago. The alternative was something about kancho, but I don’t know if you know what the art of kancho is.
Anyway, I’ve returned from the doctor on Wednesday afternoon to get my blood test results. I got the two thumbs up from Doctor Mc (no, not like that!), passing with flying colours when it comes to diabetes, cholesterol and the PSA. My LDL – the bad cholesterol – was a fraction higher than what he’d like, but still within the normal/nothing to worry about range. “Just eat low fat dairy” was his advice.
Big smiles all round!
“So, did we talk about the digital rectal exam last week?”
Gulp. “Yes.”
“Did you wish to do that now, or come back another time?”
Gulp. “Now’s fine.”
“Okay, you’ll need to drop your pants and undies, get on the bed and bring your knees up. Okay, I’m going to spread your cheeks now, and…”
I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
All clear, that’s what I wanted to know. I’m glad that I’m relatively healthy on the inside, and that I can stay away from Doctor Mc’s index finger for another 12-24 months (also the pathologists needle. I don’t want to faint again). The DRE wasn’t an overly unpleasant experience, just foreign. Strange. New. And a bunch of other adjectives. Now, a prostate biopsy is what would I would call uncomfortable!
I wish other guys put their health first, especially preventative health. A uncomfortable index finger in the bum for 10 seconds is better than unimaginable pain and fear for you and your loved ones in the future. Talking about the DRE is a little embarrassing (and follow through with), but the results can be life-saving.
Go do it! It’s not gay! Just be sure to clean your bum when you arrive home, because the lubricant is gonna stick your bumcrack to your undies.
And yeah, the title of this post is so wrong. A digital rectal exam doesn’t need a harder poking.
